about me

it's friday night again.. and tonight i have 2 stories to tell.. and they all happened in one day.

story 1: The Princess Spoiler (chiki i know u will report this incident in ur blog too but HAHA let me just include it in my blog as well!)

it was the last period of the day when i suddenly realised that earlier in the week we agreed to go catch the new miriam movie "2 become 1" this friday. so chiki and i decided to catch it after school anyway and when we checked the newspaper we realised the show was starting in 25 mins time! so we rushed to the princess cinema which fortunately was so near our school and i quickly bought my lunch and smuggled it in hehe. and the tix was only $6!

we were happy that we made it in time for the show. 1.30pm. but when we entered the cinema.. we saw that the show had already begun!! chiki wasn't happy and she said we missed alot of the show already. in the end she went out of the cinema again to confront the old auntie who was collecting the tix.

that was what i think i heard from inside the cinema:

chiki: "why has the show started? i thought it was supposed to start at 1.30pm?!"
auntie: "now 1.30pm liao what."
chiki: "no no no.. the show started some time ago! and we missed quite alot of the show already."

then blah blah blah the confrontation went on but i couldnt hear what they were saying.

auntie: "so what is your problem now??"
chiki: "the show started early! it's not fair that we have to miss so much of the show."

in the end chiki came back and guess what? the show was cut off and it started screening trailers of other movies instead. it's like "huh?!" were they just doing a testing or did they really make a mistake?! and come to think of it, why cinema does testings when all the audiences have already been seated and the show is about to begin?! in the end we watched a part of the show already and that was a total spoiler. rahhhs. lousy service princess has. but other than that and it's not-so-good chairs, i think $6 is still quite worth it for a movie.

thats the end of story 1! HAHA sorry if u were waiting for a great story. the next one might be a little more meaningful.



story 2: Dance with stress like u never have experienced before (edited from our original motto, "Dance like you never have before".) - episode 1

u should know what this story is about just by reading the title. today i was FINALLY included in the choreographer's dance and i would consider today's practise as my first REAL practice with the choreographer. lets call him Z.

we did one of the items for dance night for the first half of today's session. Z split us into 4 groups and choreographed different steps for each group. my group consisted of 5 dancers including me. so the first thing he asked us to do was to give him a pose and it must be a slutty kind of pose to fit the music.

me: *pose*
Z: *pointed at me* "please change your pose."

i wondered whats wrong with my pose coz ying huan taught me that some time ago. maybe i didnt look slutty enough (i'll be happy) or maybe i looked retarded. but anyway, he accepted my second pose. we were supposed to do a pirouette one by one as we followed the music but we were always late because the music was like SO FAST! and after the pirouette was 3 other quick poses (i hate dances with poses coz apparently i look idiotic with my anyhow poses) and then some shakings.. after which we were supposed to walk to our new blockings. BUT he never really told us where we were supposed to stand! he only used his golden finger to point into empty spaces which we must figure out ourselves exactly where he meant. if we stood at the wrong place we would get screamed at.. which of course i did.

u know he meant it when he said he would block us all into the dance so that it wouldnt seem as if he was discriminating anybody. even though he didnt say it, but we all felt that there was still some discrimination as there was a great variation of the length of time that each dancer gets to stay on the stage. when he thinks u're good, u'll most probably stay on the stage throughout or at least most of the time. if u aren't good, he'll probably ask u to run off the stage after a few steps. and so, since i made mistakes in my steps, i was asked to run off the stage. but i didnt get the idea.

he asked cheryl to run off. and 3 other girls were asked to stand in a straight line. so i was thinking "what about me?". quickly he asked us to repeat that part of the dance again for him to see and so i just stood there since he didnt tell me to run off.

Z: "why arent u running off! what are u doing over there!"
me: *shocked* "har? i'm supposed to run off?"

omg la. so i got screamed at for nothing. later on he also picked on the way we exited the stage and again, he only used his golden finger to point into some empty spaces. as usual i received some screamings before i finally knew how he wanted me to exit. my god la.. exit only he also must scold.

this was only the first part of the session.

the second part was for mardi gras. he only choreographed one item out of the several items we will be having. and i dont know why aprine grouped us under him. OMG that is like pushing us into the lion's den! he wanted us to show him the steps and we all screwed it up because he used the steps from one of the dance night items which we werent included in. so of course we dont know the steps well! we practised so hard for it the other time only to realise that he wasnt going to include us in it.. so in the end we moved on to practise other items instead. as a result we didnt do that particular dance for so damn bloody long and today he suddenly told us he'll be using those steps for mardi gras too. we were all shocked and we knew it was the end for us. he almost fainted when he saw how little we could recall. the worst thing was there were only 5 of us. and among the 5 of us only shujing was included for that particular dance night item. so as we danced we tried to peep at her which of course earned us even more scoldings. at that time i really wanted to pull aprine or somebody else in to take my place and inside me i was screaming desperately for help.. for somebody to save my life. but i know it's kinda late.. and escaping isn't a good way out either.

i think dixie was so nervous that her legs went jelly or something and she fell :( hurting her leg as a result. our poor girl.. then when i saw that she cried my heart sank too.. i was also on the verge of crying due to the high amount of pressure he was exerting on us.. we are so near to mardi gras and there isn't anymore time to lose.. so he became extra strict and demanding. but i know i shouldnt cry.. crying is just like admitting defeat to me. i dont want to seem like a weakling to him.. crying just because he scolded us? just because i couldnt recall my steps? i wanted more to save my tears so that i can shed them after everything's over. i want to show him i'm more than what he perceives me to be. so i cannot cry.. i must swallow my woes right now.

do not be mistaken, that all dancers in dance club dance well. maybe for our new juniors yes. coz afterall they had been through auditions and we hadn't. if there was an audition for me i probably wouldnt have joined dance. i would have be in billiards.. then i would have been able to train harder.. and would even have made it through at least 1 round of under 21 9-ball pool nationals.. HAHA. but i cant even do any of the above coz im so tied down by dance. however i kind of agree with my dad.. it's either i quit, or i dont complain. so since i chose not to quit, i shouldnt complain too. *gulp*

even though i dont dance well, i'm still proud of myself! i persevered and im finally coming to the end of my life in tj dance.. once the dance night is over i'll be free! it really isn't easy for people like me to persevere through. i have negligible dance background and so i am rather insensitive towards actions and body languages. my body cannot bring out feelings and ideas as good as those experienced dancers.. and of course my posture is also a big problem. i'll be lying if i say i dont feel like an useless person when i always have other better dancers asking me "can u follow?" and most of the time i need them to help me out with my steps. i know they mean well.. but unintentionally they make me feel lousy. they always claim they understand my situation.. but i only believe those who had been in my shoes.. those who had been truly demoralised like me.

reminds me of the times when i was in cchs choir. our conductor, mr reuben lai often flared up because we couldnt bring out the feelings of the pieces and because of our singing techniques. although my body language is often unable to express feelings, i dare to say that my life in cchs choir was much easier because i was more able to express feelings with my singing. i experienced stress when he made us sing in small groups too. but the kind of stress is different from that i experience in dance.. in choir although there were only a few of us in that small group, i didnt feel alone. i was able to sing confidently especially with my seniors. but in dance, no matter who i am grouped with, i can never dance confidently. i always feel i'm on my own thats why i had to peep at other dancers all the time. that is also probably the reason why i never failed to screw up my dance performances.

anyway, that was only episode 1 of story 2 coz i may have other stuffs about dance to blog in future.

hope this entry wasn't that boring :x i know it's very long and dry but i just hope to blog down my thoughts at this moment.

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